I'm 22, found out last week that I was pregnant after a routine sexual health check up with the doctor.

By anonymous on 02/01/2009
I'm 22, found out last week that I was pregnant after a routine sexual health check up with the doctor. It came as a shock and I'm still not 100% sure whether I want to go through with the termination at this stage.

Two months ago I was dumped by the absolute love of my life because he found it too hard to continue a long distance relationship while I was finishing university, and I went on a downward spiral. I've been drinking a ridiculous amount and one night a 'friend' of mine took advantage of my almost passed out drunken stupor. A condom was used but had disappeared at some point during and so I took the morning after pill the next day but it clearly failed. I don't even want to talk to this guy again after the way he took advantage and made me feel dirty and used.

This has a large amount to play in my decision for a termination, not to mention still being at university, having no family support and still trying to get things on track with my ex. I've found that so far I have received very little information from either of the two doctors I have spoken to so far. They have simply referred me to the hospital for my appointment on Jan 5th and left it at that. After reading so many stories on here to try and gain a better knowledge of the situation I am still confused and a little bit terrified about what is going to happen. I'm not sure what I'll be asked at the initial consultation and whether it will be difficult for them to agree to the procedure. I'm worried about the effects of going through such a painful and emotionally damaging thing on my own.

Editor’s note: Thanks for writing in…It’s very important that you obtain accurate information, since you are not yet sure about whether to go ahead at this stage, and explore all your options before you go on January 5th. It might be a good idea to ring the hospital ahead of Monday and ask them directly about what's involved procedurally. You don’t say whether you’ll have a medical or surgical abortion - perhaps you don't know yet. You can read about the differences on this site. The fact is that practices vary from place to place, so it’s important for you to find out the local situation.

You are obviously under stress, given the circumstances of your pregnancy, the lack of support, your broken relationship and the demands of university life. I suggest that you make contact with your nearest centre or ring our helpline, so that you can talk to someone. The circumstances seem to weigh heavily on you, and sometimes this can mean we respond to the situation logically just to get it 'sorted', but then don’t pay enough attention to our heart’s responses, our emotions and deeper feelings about what pregnancy and abortion mean. I am also concerned for you that this negative sexual experience has affected you in other ways and it would be good to address that with a counsellor rather than struggle to cope with that alone. You have an opportunity now to check that abortion is a holistic decision for you and that you have all the information you need to approach this decision in the best way possible. Get in touch for some support. We’ll be thinking of you.

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