I became pregnant by accident after a problem with the contraception I was on.

I had a medical abortion at six weeks and I am 20 years old. I became pregnant by accident after a problem with the contraception I was on. I was at university at the time and couldn't keep it and my boyfriend was 100% behind me. I don't think I ever had a second thought and I never thought about it as being a 'baby', just a mistake to be taken care of. The termination itself was unpleasant. I took the first tablet and went home due to return in two days. I vomited a lot and felt very weak. On the day of the termination, I was still being sick so couldn't take any pain killers. They insert the tablets into your vagina and you just sit back and wait for the products to pass, by going to the toilet in a bed pan. The nurses check the contents. I got really painful cramps which came and went in waves but I couldn't take painkillers. When I passed the products, it felt unpleasant and I made the mistake of looking at them. It just looked like a bloody blob and I felt sick. I went home and had heavy bleeding for about a week and now feel fine. I don't regret a thing. Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your story…It sounds as if one of the ways you have coped with the whole experience is to be very clear and focused in your own mind about what you believe this pregnancy was and what it wasn’t. To you, it wasn’t a ‘baby’; it was a ‘product’ and a ‘mistake’. Those beliefs helped you to cope with what turned out to be an unpleasant experience by distancing the meaning of what was happening, and so you have avoided some of the more difficult emotional aspects that can occur, such as regret and sense of loss. It may have been quite different for you if you had believed the pregnancy was more than that. If your beliefs do ever change in time, for whatever reason, then do feel free to get in touch for some support.

This story was sent in on 16/03/2009

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