I’m seventeen and regretting the abortion I had six weeks ago.

By anonymous on 27/03/2009
I’m seventeen and regretting the abortion I had six weeks ago. I was 17 weeks 3 days when I had it on Saturday 21st February. The tummy cramps I had were awful. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. I didn’t want to carry on. My boyfriend was with me as he was the one who wanted the abortion. He said it wasn’t the right time and we weren’t in the right place to have a baby. He seems to be fine with it now though, as if ‘it was six weeks ago it’s all over and done with’, but I’m suffering. I hate going out because when I see pregnant women or babies out, I just break down and cry.

My mum has no idea what has been going on as there’s been problems at home with her and my dad. My best friend knows and she is a great support. I’ve been able to call her up crying when I’ve had a bad day. I don’t know anyone else who has had an abortion and was given this website from my local Connexions Direct to talk to people in confidence.

I’ve self harmed a lot recently because of the guilt I feel about the abortion. All I want back is my baby. I’ve thought about overdosing again as well. I attempted last October and the thoughts I’ve been having for it lately have been really bad. I’m finding it hard to talk to my boyfriend because all he wants is sex lately. I had a six week check up with my doctor this morning and my boyfriend asked if we could have sex now and the doctor said yes, but I just don’t want it with him. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your story with us…You seem to be in a very vulnerable state and I think you should visit your GP again as soon as possible. Explain how difficult you are finding things at the moment after your abortion. I presume your GP is aware of your previous attempt and it’s very important that he/she is aware of how you are feeling right now. Please make contact as soon as you can with your doctor.

You don’t say much about pre-existing problems you have had, but it’s clear that things are not happy at home either and you are feeling isolated. It would help you to visit your nearest centre and see someone who understands about the emotional effects of abortion. Your abortion was a late one, and can therefore be more difficult to cope with, especially if you weren’t sure about it in the first place. There are people to help and support you through this time, who understand how women can feel after abortion, so be brave and get in touch. You’ve taken a good first step, writing your story. Now you know you’re not alone. There’s more support available for you – reach out for it. We'll be thinking of you.

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