I took the choice to put the baby back in God’s hands, in the best care

I was 15 yrs old; scared with no one to fall onto. My mom had kicked me out because of my abusive brother and my sister had never spoken to me until I had moved in with her.

I am 16 yrs old now, about to be 17. At the time I only had my boyfriend (16 at the time) to depend on. We would constantly fight, saying he wanted no part of me or the baby, that it was a mistake and that he and I both knew it, when I know it was the child I always wanted. But knowing my situation, I knew that to have this baby would not be a good idea. I have no one and the baby would have a denial father.

I took the choice into my own hands and decided to put the baby back in God’s hands, in the best care. Till this day I wonder what I could have had - the good laughs and the smelly diapers. I always tell myself it was for the best and that my angels are always watching over me. I love you baby.

This story was sent in on 10/05/2009

Editor's comment

Thanks fro writing to us…

There is a great sadness in your voice. It sounds as if you have been through much heartbreak, but the most secret pain you have is the loss of your baby. You made a choice under pressure and now you’re left with thoughts of what might have been.

If you are in the States, you can find some post-abortion support from Optionline on 800-395-HELP. Other sources of support there can be found via the internet.

I encourage you to find some support – it’s usually free – and it will help you come to terms with what has happened. Be brave and get in touch. We’ll be thinking of you.

Read more abortion stories

I had my abortion seven years ago this month.


I wanted to give some hope to the people reading this section who are coming to terms with a termination.


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