I'm 35 and have just found out I'm pregnant by a guy I was seeing for four months.By anonymous on 22/06/2009
Hi, I wonder if any one else is going through a similar experience to me. I'm 35 and have just found out I'm pregnant by a guy I was seeing for four months. My first instinct when I found out I was pregnant was to feel happy. However, the baby's father has become very verbally aggressive; he is pushing me to have an abortion and is using emotional blackmail to have his way. He lives quite near to me and has told me he has no feelings for me and wants no future with me. I am content to be a single mum but don't know if I have the strength to face his emotional blackmail and nastiness. He seemed content to see and sleep with me for four months but now that this has happened, he wants nothing to do with me and is insisting on abortion. Is any one else undergoing a similar experience or does any one have any tips or know of counselling services for women that are undergoing this kind of stress? Any advice would be gratefully received. I don't want to get rid of my baby but am not sure if I can endure a lifetime of bad feeling from this guy who, it is now obvious, I should never have been spending time with in the first place? Thx B
Editor’s note: Thanks for writing in…There is crisis pregnancy support available through our centres – please find one using the Find a Centre link on the Home page. Alternatively, you can ring the helpline or use Online Advisor to find the support you need.
Fathers’ responses can vary hugely, arising from many different motivations, although sadly it’s not unusual for a man to use some sort of verbal or emotional pressure to make a woman have an abortion. You do not have to do anything that any one else thinks you should do, or fall in line with their wishes in any way. It’s entirely up to you if you wish to pursue the pregnancy and support is available to help you do that if you wish. You must know your own heart and mind on the matter, so that you make the decision you can live with. In order to do that, you need time to explore your personal feelings and to be given accurate information about all your options and what support is available. Get in touch as soon as you can.