I really was so unsure about what to do and although I know no one could have made the decision for me, I wanted someone to talk to, to discuss both options and get some advice.
I do feel that the abortion clinic failed you in this situation.
The guidelines state clearly that each woman should have counselling before making their final decision about an unplanned pregnancy. This should involve exploring all the options and how you feel about each one emotionally and psychologically, as well as the physical facts about methods of abortion. A trained counsellor would have picked up your uncertainty and suggested you had more time and counselling before making your decision.
It sounds as though your mind was telling you certain rational and logical facts, but your heart and instincts were saying that you had serious doubts about abortion for you in your situation.
I also hope that anyone who reads your story will seek help from an independent pregnancy advisor.
Help can always be accessed through the national Careconfidential helpline, where a trained advisor will help any caller to think through her decision without pressure or bias. Please think about accessing the help of post abortion support through the helpline as well.