I'm 16 years old and had an abortion 3weeks ago. I've been with my boyfriend for a year now.

I'm 16 years old and had an abortion 3weeks ago. I've been with my boyfriend for a year now. The moment I fell pregnant all I thought about was my mum. My sister had a baby young and she turned to alcohol through the stress of it all. My boyfriend is 20 and he has a good enough job. He wanted to keep the baby, but I had to make a choice about what I was going to do. Either way I had to risk losing my mum, my boyfriend or my baby, Every day that's passed I regret my decision so much, and I think about it all the time. I love my mum but I've lost a part of me and it hurts so much. I feel so low every night when I go to sleep, it's all I think about. I wish so much I could go back. I really do wish that anyone who is thinking about abortion would reconsider it.. I know its hard being young, or a single parent, or whatever the circumstances, but nothing is harder than living with all the pain after an abortion. It's not something you can blame on someone else either. Everyday I blame myself because I know I was the one who did it. I never wanted to.. emotionally this has truly affected me. After my procedure when I woke up and the nurse said it was all done, I can remember her walking away and my childhood going with her. It's made me grow up alot but it hurts me every day. Editor's comment:- It has taken a lot of courage for you to share such a difficult experience. I am sorry that you felt so pressurised by your age and fear of how your Mum would react. It is hard to live with regret and longing to turn the clock back. You sound as though you need a lot of support and someone to talk to about how you are feeling. Perhaps you feel locked into secrecy with your Mum. I think it would help you to contact a trained advisor and get some post-abortion support. Sometimes it helps to speak to someone outside your family and friends. I would encourage you to ring the national helpline 0300 4000 999 or look up a pregnancy centre in your area on the website.
This story was sent in on 11/11/2009 and it's been viewed 850 times.

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