I had an abortion a year ago, and I still sometimes find it difficult to cope with.
It's quite common for people to struggle to move on after an abortion, especially if it was a difficult decision to make. It sounds as though you have feelings of regret and longings for what you have lost. I'm glad your partner has been able to support you. That counts for a lot. Sometimes you have to admit that you can't move on by yourself, and that you need help to work through the problem. There is a very good support programme called 'The Journey' that has helped many people like yourself to see light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it feels like opening a wound that is painful, but you have to get rid of the infection before it can heal. Have a look on the website and see if there is a centre near you that offers post abortion support. If there is nowhere close to you Online advisor would be able to help.