the hardest part for me was telling my doctor that I didn't want to proceed with the pregnancy.

I have just had the second part of a medical abortion today and thought I would share my experience - it might help someone going through the same thing (I read this web site for hours whilst deciding what to do and it did help me). I am 36 and have 3 lovely children all under 7. Pregnancy wasn't planned and my initial feeling was stupidity, that I had got into this situation - the hardest part for me was telling my doctor that I didn't want to proceed with the pregnancy. The place I visited was miles away (at least an hour by train), it was hard to arrange childcare and the schools were closed because of the bad weather, (at times I felt someone or something was conspiring against me and my decision). I had to visit the clinic on 3 occasions, the consultation, the first stage and then 2 days later for the second stage (all in all it was 1 week ago today that I made the decision to end the pregnancy) The staff were alright (not pushy, not condescending) the waiting room was full on all 3 occasions showing that I was not the only one going through it. I am a Capricorn, strong willed, practical etc and I have to admit that even I was surprised by my emotions and feelings. My husband definitely didn't want any more children and neither did I or so I thought. Being in the situation made me ask myself all kinds of questions and I kept changing my mind from one minute to the next. The consultation was fine - they talked about the different methods, asked if I was sure about my decision or if I had been pressurised into it, took blood pressure etc. They also did a scan to confirm the pregnancy. They didn't show me the scan nor did they ask if I wanted to see it but when the nurse left the room briefly I had a look at the photos - don't ask me why - in my mind I began to waver - having seen it made me think again. My first appointment was booked for the next day and if I'm honest I was still unsure if I would go back but I talked late into the night with my husband and decided I really was doing the right thing. At his appointment I took one tablet to stop the pregnancy hormone being produced, effectively stopping the pregnancy growing. I felt fine for rest of the day and the following day. This morning I felt really anxious ( not knowing what to expect pain wise and bleeding wise). I have to say now that it was not as bad as I had expected. The cramping was a little worse than normal period pain, but the advised pain killers and a hot water bottle helped greatly. The bleeding is more than a normal period and as soon as I stand up I feel it starting to pour out - I haven't seen any big clots and it is not uncomfortable. I feel very positive and I know I have done the right thing. Editor's comment:- Physical experiences during early medical abortion vary from one person to another. Your emotional reactions surprised you and probably nothing can prepare you for this because abortion is outside the realms of usual human experience. Many of the stories people send in describe very emotional reactions to what they have been through.
This story was sent in on 11/01/2010 and it's been viewed 1,205 times.

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