I just want her to acknowledge me totally.

By anonymous on 05/02/2007
I have found my birth mother and have met her once. She is very nice, I think, but I have a half brother and two half sisters and she doesn't want them to know about me. This is very upsetting as I know where they live which is about 30 mins away. She phones me two times a week but I can’t phone her. I feel as though she is totally controlling me.

I am thinking of contacting siblings myself as why should they not know about me and make up their own minds if they want to meet me? My adoptive family have all been dead for some time, and I loved them all deeply. They cannot be replaced. I just want her to acknowledge me totally.

Editor’s note: Thanks for writing to us about your situation. It must feel quite hurtful for you to be kept from the rest of the family when you really want to connect with them too. It sounds as if your birth mother is not yet comfortable with bringing you into her life as it is now. This isn’t about who you are personally - maybe it's just that you represent her past. Or maybe she's just protecting herself from what she thinks might happen once the rest of the family know about you. Whatever it is, she may need a bit of support in coming through this time in the best way possible.

It would also help you to talk this through with someone, particularly as you are finding it hard to understand. I recommend you ring the Asist (Adoption Support in Society Today) helpline. You can speak to someone on either of these two numbers: 01823 421532 or 01823 253026.

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