An affair that has lead to a crisis pregnancy

I'm 35yrs old and married.
I've been cheating on my husband for 8 months, because I've been very unhappy in my marriage for a long time. We came close to separating this year. I was asking for a divorce but he was reluctant and wanted us to go to counselling.
He found some texts from my lover but I was too scared to tell him the truth so just told him it was nothing but text flirting. In the recent months I've been regreting cheating and have realised that I love my husband and want us to have a future together.

I fell pregnant with my lover's baby

Unfortunately I fell pregnant from my lover and this has devastated me. I have told my lover I can't see him anymore. I don't want the baby as I don't want to be with him and I want to save my marriage.
I'm going to have an abortion but I'm scared. I can't tell anyone as it's too shameful and none of my family or friends know about my secret relationship.

I dont know how I'll cope after the abortion

I won't have any support because I can't tell anyone. I don't know how it's going to affect my marriage and my future. I'm so scared about the future. I'm also scared that at my age it will physically affect me having children with my husband in the near future. Any expert advise would be appreciated.

Editor's Comment

It sounds as though you are in a difficult situation but trying to cover up your mistakes may end up making things worse. This is going to be a lonely place to be in if you are unable to talk to anyone and having to keep a secret like this. I would advise you to contact a pregnancy centre in your area to talk your situation through with a trained advisor. Follow the link to find a centre for crisis pregnancy support in your area. or you can get help from an Online advisor for unplanned pregnancy support.

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