An unplanned pregnancy with 3 young children

By anonymous on 06/09/2011
I am a mother of 3 young children (all boys) aged 4, 2 and 6 months. My partner and I have been together for 7 years and I recently found out that I am pregnant again. I am 27 and my partner is 26.
A lot of people judge us already because we are only young and already have 3 children and the thought of having 4 feels very overwhelming to us. We are concerned about how much hard work it will be in bringing up another child on top of our current 3 and also the cost and strain that it will put on our time spent with our other children (will they still get the love and attention they deserve from us) and the strain it may cause on our relationship.

It came as massive shock to us and I am having a very hard time in making a decision on whether to continue the pregnancy or not.

I found out at 6 weeks and I am now 11 weeks. It is increasingly becoming very daunting to me the thought of having another child and I am feeling a lot of anxiety about it.
I ended up making an appointment at a Family Centre on Saturday just gone to have a termination.
On Saturday morning I was feeling very overwhelmed and stressed about it and was crying and therefore we ended up cancelling the appointment mainly because I was worried about how I may feel after I had done it.
Now that days are passing again I am wondering what to do - to just go and have the termination or not. My partner is trying to be supportive, he does not want another child either but wants me to make a decision quickly. He seems to think that the faster I do the termination the better.
I just feel like I cannot make a decision, 99% of my head tells me it is ridiculous to have another child and our circumstances go completely against it but 1% of me says what if I regret my decision and cannot take it back? What if later in life I hate myself for terminating my own child? I have never had a termination before and do not know how it may affect me. Has anyone else been in a similar situation or got any advice for me? I'd really appreciate it, thanks :)

Editor's Comment

I can understand your anxiety. With 3 young children you have a very full and busy life and another baby will be hard work. However, something inside you is making you very undecided and it is that you need to explore, to find out whether termination would go against your core values and beliefs which make you the person you are. Crossing that boundary can be very painful and lead to longterm regret. It is not important what any one else thinks of you, but it is important that you can live with your decision in the longterm, and some of your comments suggest that termination would be painful for you. I would really encourage you to talk this through with someone independent.You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for crisis pregnancy support in your area.

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