I am keeping my baby

I am 22 years old and I just started my last pre-req class for a nursing program. I found out I was 6-7 weeks pregnant less than a week ago and I am scared to death. The news was truly devastating.
My boyfriend and I have known each other for a very long time as he grew up as a close friend of my sisters'. We have only been dating a couple of months though we dated briefly a couple years ago. We were always drawn to each other.
However, we have almost no money between us and we haven't even said "I love you" yet. This is not even close to being the ideal time for a pregnancy.

There is so much I want to do in my life

...like living in New York for a year...getting ahead in a career.
Now I will be poor, struggling to raise a child as all of my needs become secondary and placed on the back burner. I definitely considered all 3 options.
My mother gave a child up for adoption and it ruined her life, haunting her forever. That was quickly crossed off the list. I strongly considered abortion as well, hoping to put an end to this crisis as quickly as possible so I could move on. I never judged anyone for getting an abortion as I strongly believe that it is a women's right to choose. However, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I had this aching feeling that it would destroy my spirtuality.

(tho I am not religious, I am spirtual.) When does life begin? I don't know...and I can't possibly bring myself to kill the one thing that would end up being the most important thing in my life as I know it will. So after a few days of crying my eyes out and staying in bed all day, I came to the conclusion there was only one option left. I am keeping my child and I have absolute faith that things will work out. I am terrified, yes, but I know we don't know our true strength until we need to be our strongest.

Editor's Comment

It is a courageous decision to follow your core values, but so important to be aware of what your heart and instincts are telling you. For many people their culture tells them to make rational decisions based on present circumstances, but that can deny a whole part of you which gets blocked out. From what you have written I think your strength will see you through. If you need some pregnancy support it is availablefind a centre for pregnancy support in your area.

This story was sent in on 10/09/2011

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