A 21 year old single mum who is pregnant again

Hi I am a 21 year old single mum of 3 kids ages 4 3 & 2.
I split up with my children's father in May then not long after got in a relationship with a new man. Our relationship wasn't working for me. I was being controlled, told what I could or couldn't do, who I could and couldn't see.
We had only been together for 2 months he is a very jealous guy and gets very angry easily. 2 weeks ago I finally finished with him for good, but now I've just found out I am pregnant again, about 5-6 weeks along.

I had an abortion in January last year and have regreted it ever since

I was very depressed after my abortion and felt very guilty and selfish, and I still think about it everyday. I don't think I will ever get over it completely, however my dilemma now is that I am stuck in a ditch and I don't know what to do. I am scared that if I keep this baby I will be terrorised and even more controlled by my ex.
My ex's mum also lives directly across the road from me. I can see in her windows and she can see in mine, but since we split I have had them at my door, one night kicking off and bringing 2 girls round to batter me.

Editor's Comment

You are in a difficult position as you face this unplanned pregnancy. I can understand your concerns about having permanent links with your ex boyfriend, but abortion seems like the wrong option for you after your previous experience. In the end I think that it is more important to make a decision that you feel you can live with longterm. If your previous abortion was so difficult and has had such a long lasting impact on you, then I would think carefully about going through this again. If you decide to continue the pregnancy, it may be possible to decide to keep the identity of the father secret, and not name him on the birth certificate. That may help longterm although you still have to deal with your ex's mum living on your door step. Thinking about an adoption plan is a positive option for some women who do not feel they can raise a child, but know that they cannot have an abortion. If you would like information, help and support as you make your decision please contact Care confidential through the helpline 0300 4000 999, Online advisor orfind a centre for pregnancy choices support in your area.

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