By some miracle I am pregnant

I am 25. I have been single for a year, and around Xmas I did something I DON'T do, I had a one night stand with a guy who is travelling. (well, 3 nights really..) a week ago I found out I'm pregnant.
At first I was really happy, as I've had fertility issues in the past. My ex fiancé and I spent over a year trying to have kids but nothing happened. I had all kinds of tests done to figure out why it wasn't working but got no answers. I have also had a few early miscarriages, all within the first 5 weeks. I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact I wasn't able to have kids.

But by some miracle I'm pregnant, but the circumstances aren't ideal.

I told the father yesterday, he was shocked to say the least. He doesn't want me to have the baby, has offered to travel back and pay for an abortion, even come with me for the procedure. He has flights booked to his home country for 3 weeks time, which doesn't give me a lot of time to make such a huge decision.
I'm starting to think he is right in wanting an abortion, I got pregnant this time so what's to say it won't happen down the track with the right person, when it's planned?
I'm so confused, I wanted to have this baby up until I spoke to the father. It made me realise it isn't only my choice I have to take his feelings into consideration too. If anyone has any words of wisdom please share, I'm going out of my mind trying to figure out what to do alone :(

Editor's Comment

Your initial reaction was your heart speaking and feeling happy and excited that you were able to get pregnant and have a baby. Since then your head or rational thinking has triggered a different response that you are not in a relationship, and the father does not want the baby. What you have to decide is what **you** really want. As it was a casual relationship, the father is unlikely to be involved with you, and predictably he does not want the ties and commitment of a baby. However, you must do what is right for you and what you can live with longterm. From your story you use words like happy, I wanted to have this baby, and miracle which suggests abortion would not be your choice. Although as you say, it is possible that you would meet the right man and have a baby with him, the bottom line could also be that you struggle to get pregnant again, so you need to decide if you would still choose abortion if this were the case. If you would like some more help and support as you make your decision, you can log into Online advisor, or find a centre for pregnancy choices support in your area.

This story was sent in on 25/01/2012

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