Almost 38 with 4 children and pregnant again

I am almost 38 years old, my partner and I, not officially married but have been together six years, are pregnant again.
We have four other children, ages 1, 2.5, almost 7 and almost 15. We're going crazy and struggling with not much help.
My partner is SAHD(stay at home dad) and I work full time and go to grad school and am nursing the 1 yr old. I am trying to graduate this year.
We had talked about starting to plan our wedding. We were not trying to conceive, but it has happened.

We are considering an abortion.

I've had three babies in six years, two of them were large babies (10 lbs each) and I had gestational diabetes in the last pregnancy. I was a complete worry-wort. Still am kinda'.
I am not certain I can weather another pregnancy physically or mentally, but I am having a hell of a time coming to the decision of having an abortion. I am nervous/anxious that something may happen to me, and my babies now would suffer. We're trying to see this clearly, together.
My health is of utmost concern. I thought I was pro-choice for others and pro-life for myself, but now my beliefs are really being challenged.

Editor's Comment

You have clearly got a very busy life and a lot of demands from your growing family. I can understand your dilemma if you feel that you are only just coping with work, study and family commitments now.
However, the bottom line is how you will feel and cope with the decision that you make longterm. Any of the options will be difficult for you and will have consequences so it is important to look at your gains and losses and work out what is really important to you.
If you choose abortion the short term gains will be less pressure coping with another pregnancy and baby. What you have to explore for yourselves is how you will feel about abortion longer term, particularly if you felt uncomfortable with abortion for yourself before you were in this position. You may be going against your core values and beliefs because you feel under pressure, and that may be hard to live with longterm.
If you choose to continue the pregnancy you have to deal with the pressure of another baby and coping with pregnancy. What you need to ask yourselves is whether you have more peace of mind with this decision even though it will put you under pressure, than choosing abortion. There is also the option of considering adoption if you really could not cope. This is often a very unpopular idea but one that I would raise as a third choice. Into all of this mix you would be wise to talk to your GP and possibly an obstetrician to get advice about your own health concerns.
This is a difficult decision for you both and I can understand your anxiety as you face it. If you would like to talk it through with an advisor, please call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, orfind a centre for pregnancy choices support in your area. find a centre for pregnancy choices support in your area.

This story was sent in on 17/03/2012

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