8 weeks pregnant with twins
My boyfriend has another woman in his life whom he lives with for the month he isn't with me. They have a child together of about 18 months and the day after I told him I was pregnant with twins, she gave birth to their second child.
He says that he loves her and that she is a wonderful mother but he is not in love with her, and had they not got children he would have left. She got pregnant not long after they met and he vowed to stand by her.
He is the proudest and most committed daddy I have ever met and I love him very much.But, he says that as he vowed to stand by her he is unable to do the same for me and our twins. We spoke about keeping the twins and also about a termination. I am booked in for a termination on Thursday but I am still not 100% sure of what I want to do.
I don't think its fair to bring twins into a world where they might get to know their dad for a couple of years but then never see or hear from him again.
I wish to study for a degree in Nursing in the near future and that alone will be difficult enough without having 2 small children.
I earn a low wage and although my boyfriend is willing to give me a monthly amount to help financially with the twins, he has said that he couldn't be seen walking down the road with me if I had a bump.
I have always wanted to be a mummy and think terminations are rarely the right answer.
My boyfriend's mum and sister both know that we are seeing each other, but the mother of his children doesn't, and she has said that if he strayed then she would leave. He doesn't want this as his children are his world and he will do anything for them. But he feels a termination is best for us ....
Editor's CommentYou have a complex relationship situation and it sounds as though you are not number one priority in your boyfriend's thinking, although he's happy to have a relationship with you. Choosing to terminate your twins because he has 2 children with another partner and doesn't want her to know about you seems like a rough deal for you. I wonder how you would feel about him afterwards?
I think you should make the decision that is right for you, and leave him out of the equation. You may still choose termination but at least it will be your decision, and because you feel that is right for you. It sounds as though you are concerned about finances, and about your career, but if you have always felt that termination was a bad option then this will be difficult for you to come to terms with. Whatever you are feeling by Thursday, if you are not 100% sure you can postpone the appointment until you are sure. It won't mean that this door closes for you if you cancel the appointment, and it is better to be sure than regret your decision afterwards. You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for pregnancy choices support in your area.
This story was sent in on 12/08/2012