I just found out that I'm pregnant with my second baby
I went through so much pain and I did an abortion. It cost me about 600 I was given a pill and I felt my stomach getting hard and I was in so much pain I vomited all night and was in labour the whole night.
My mum felt my stomach and she couldn't stop crying. She took me to a private doctor and he confirmed I was 6 months, I knew of course but my mum didn't. She cried so he sent me to the hospital. My mum helped me all the way and I got there.
I changed my clothes and the nurses were so kind and the doctors. My mum helped me too but I kept on vomiting and the pain was there and my mum told me to breath in and out but I couldn't.
then I wanted to go to the toilet but nothing happened and I just felt like pushing I couldn't stop and I told my mum something coming out and down the hall going to my bed I just pushed and it fell. 'Oh my gosh my mum cried aloud' and my baby was on the floor. I just fell against the wall and I looked at my baby boy and he moved. The nurses took him and told me to sleep and calm down but I couldn't stop crying something inside me said 'don't make it' for the sake of my mum and he didn't.
I regret it because I still want him back but now I'm pregnant again and I don't want to do it again but my boyfriend insists. If I don't he will beat me up until it comes out and he has tried doing that but I cried so much he stopped.
Now I'm confused because he doesn't know how it feels to lose a baby and he wasn't there for me the first time he ran. I want to keep my baby but what about my mum. I love my babies too much.