My gut instinct is I do not want to abort this baby.

Hi I have been with my very on off partner for four years, he has cheated on me and every other partner he has had. I finally changed the locks on my house last week and decided to cut him out of my life. I do love him we are like best friends and if he didn't cheat he would be perfect (ish)I don't come without my own issues. Short tempered, nag :o). 18 months ago I got pregnant and had a termination. I wanted to back out when I was dressed in the theatre gown, I didn't and have always regretted it. I have barely slept with him over the last 6 months as I have suspected him being unfaithful again. However I have been aware I've missed a period, have just done a test and I am pregnant again.
I am 39 have an 18 year old and a 15 year old and haven't found being a parent an easy job at all. He is 44 has a 12 year old and a 21 year old. I have a fairly good job and still have career ambitions. I have a slightly racist family, I am white he is black, I anticipate my family being embarrassed of their being a mixed race baby in the family. That said I'm not too close with my family. The father would be a good father as in he would support the baby for the entire life. He is a better parent than me to be honest.
I just want some advice, our age,and my children's age and the fact that we probably won't be together as a proper solid family unit concern me, but my gut instinct is I do not want to abort this baby.

Editor's Comment

It sounds as though it would be helpful for you to spaek to a pregnancy choices practitioner. They can talk these issues through with you and help you to think through your decision. You obviously have some anxieties about the pregnancy, but regretted the previous abortion that you had. Sometimes ther is a battle going on between your head and circumstances, and what your heart is telling you. Your heart seems to be telling you to continue the pregnancy, but your head is battling with practical anxieties. I would suggest you log onto Online advisor for some more help, or call the national helpline 0300 4000 999.

This story was sent in on 01/04/2013

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