I am 39 and 7 weeks pregnant

I am 39 and have a daughter who is almost 9. I am shocked that I am 7 weeks pregnant. My husband and I had separated twice in the last 3 years. I had fertility problems conceiving my daughter and didn't think I could get pregnant (he was also supposed to be arranging a vasectomy). I want the baby as a sibling for my daughter but my husband has been dishonest - he steals from work then sells stuff (he promised he would stop but it continues) and he has 3 secret Facebook accounts (I finally got to look at his computer this weekend). He has previously been addicted to porn. I can't trust anything he says. I work and have mental health problems. I can't cope with a baby and be a good mum. Will I regret an abortion forever? Please help, in turmoil any advice gratefully received.

Editor's Comment

It must have been quite a shock to find out that you were pregnant, and very difficult to discover secrets about your husband through his computer activity. You may need to separate these two issues and first make a decision about what you really want for the pregnancy. You are already a mum and clearly want the best for your daughter. It may be worth talking to a doctor and perhaps a counsellor to think through your ability to cope. Abortion is a big decision and it can leave women with feelings of loss and regret, so it is important to be sure that your decision is not a reaction to the turmoil in your life at the moment. There is help available and there are always trained people available who can help you to think through your thoughts and feelings. for unplanned pregnancy support.

This story was sent in on 17/12/2013

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