My decision is whether to abort or continue with pregnancy.
I am 8 weeks + 1 day pregnant. I had quite traumatic births which is still fresh in my mind (retained placenta, 3rd degree tear, blood transfusions).
I am worried about our financial situation, my partner has just started a new job full time thankfully as his previous one was only part time! I'm working part time! but I am worried about affording a 3rd child.
We are still really young and the thought of being 23 with 3 kids is extremely scary! and after a few visits back and forth to family planning about my choice/options I have been so indecisive and I had an appointment just 3 days ago and said I think my option is to continue I am now thinking, 'is this the right thing to do?' I'm thinking I can't do this now, I'd need to find a bigger place and going through pregnancy again and birth is daunting.
I already have morning sickness and nausea I haven't physically been sick which is lucky but I feel it constantly and I feel so hungry but I can't eat sometimes. I thought I was making the right decision but I'm petrified.
My partner is so supportive and loves me and will always be there but makes it harder as he's so positive about continuing with pregnancy. I do look at my children and think how can I do something like an abortion as I love them and there both gorgeous but I am scared that I may not have the time I do now for them when another one is here. I also feel a bit embarrassed being so young with 3 kids. I have just got into my 2nd year for performing arts (dance) as well starting August next year. I am just so indecisive. I wish I knew someone in the same position, who also has the same circumstances (2 kids already etc). I have been on this forum looking at people's stories since I found out. It's nice to know you're not the only one and there are other people in the same if not worse situations than you and I feel lucky. Just wish I could be happy or positive about this.
Editor's CommentIt is very difficult when you feel so ambivalent about your situation, but it sounds as though a lot of your fears and anxieties are based on whether you will cope, and perhaps what other people think of your situation. The important thing is that you and your partner are together in this decision, and that your relationship remains strong and stable. Considering abortion when he is excited and wanting to continue the pregnancy could lead to a lot of tension in your relationship, despite the fact that he is clearly very supportive of you, and what you want.
The fact that you are very indecisive suggests that you are very unsure about choosing abortion, and I think you would need to have a lot more peace and certainty about such a major decision. If you would like to talk to a pregnancy practitioner, or receive Online support it is available for unplanned pregnancy support. or call the helpline 0300 4000 999.
This story was sent in on 31/10/2014