Hey, I'm S and I'm 16 years old and have just found out I'm just over two months pregnant.
By anonymous on 05/03/2008Hey, I'm S and I'm 16 years old and have just found out I'm just over two months pregnant. I suppose you'd say I'm completely at a loss at the moment. My boyfriend, who's the father, my parents and younger sister are all being really supportive. However, I'm starting to feel that although they tell me that it's my decision and that no-one else can make it for me, they're all pushing for an abortion. I'm two months away from my GCSE's and I don't know what I myself want to do.
The fact that there are many stories out there about how emotionally traumatizing abortions can be has only scared me more. I'm quite a strong character but I don't know how well I'd cope having to go through an abortion and then take GCSE's. Does anyone have any advice on abortion and the stress that comes with it?
Following on from that, I'm not entirely sure that abortion is the way to go. My boyfriend and I are very much in love and we often talk about the future but I'm not sure how he'd cope, being only 18, with becoming a father. I know a lot of young mums and they all seem to be so happy with their children but some of them are now single which is much harder to deal with. I know that M, my boyfriend, wouldn't run away. He's not that type of person but I don't want to pressurize him into anything he may not be ready for.
Ultimately, the only advice I can give out is that if you're in this position, you really must be very selfish. I know it sounds awful to say that but you can't let other people’s opinions cloud your judgment on what is best for you! At the end of the day, it’s your body that will be going through the changes. You will be most affected by what you choose to do and although it will affect people who are close to you, at the end of the day you will have to live with your decision for the rest of your life. Not them. I hope this helps even a little, and if anyone has any advice on getting to your final decision, please let me know.
Editor’s note: Thanks for writing in…On the ‘What about abortion?’ page of this site you can read about possible emotional and psychological responses to abortion. The experience of the procedure itself can vary.
I think your advice to others is helpful, but you need to know what you feel deep down not only about undergoing this procedure, but also what it means. It’s not just about the circumstances of your life, but the way your heart responds to the deeper meaning of abortion that counts. Circumstances can change but it’s not easy to change your heart when it’s in pain. It’s true that women who have been pressurised to do something they don’t really want to do struggle more afterwards. What is your heart saying to you about this pregnancy?
It would help you to talk with someone unconnected to your situation – why not ring the helpline, visit your nearest centre or contact Online Advisor for support?