I recently started working about a couple of months ago in a good job.By anonymous on 02/09/2008
I recently started working about a couple of months ago in a good job. I have a son who is two and a half years old but right now I’m a month pregnant. I want to keep the baby so does my boyfriend, but otherwise we are thinking of our future and how this will jeopardise our life in the future. Now I'm thinking of what to do because, we already have one child to see about and this will financially tear us apart, not meaning separate us, but meaning not having enough money for two children in these hard times.
I know what people will be saying that we should have thought of this before but that’s not the point. I'm studying. What will my parents will say of this? Yes I'm a big girl now but you know how it is with parents: they tend to tell you things no matter how old you are.
I haven't had the abortion yet because I'm still thinking. I never had an abortion before and I never plan to, but still I don't know what to do. My family is really complicated. My mother has six children and she doesn't want me to end up like her. She wants what’s best for me although I'm living my own life, working, starting a family, and having my own home. She's still there for me. She wants me get more education although I have qualifications and working in good job. She still wants the best for me and knowing what I have accomplished so far, another child will only slow me down. I'm in my twenties and so is my boyfriend.
Editor’s note: Thanks for writing in….It sounds as if you are, like many other women in your situation, torn between your head and your heart. Your head is probably looking at all the circumstances and saying that it makes sense not to have a baby; it makes sense to end the pregnancy and be more financially secure and face the future you are working so hard for. However, your heart seems to have another message. Your heart may be saying that this is a wanted baby, that something in you does not feel comfortable about terminating a pregnancy.
Behind all of that, there seems to be a fear that you will displease or upset your mother who never had the opportunities you did. However, this has to be a choice you can live with. Look at your circumstances, look at what your head is saying about them, but listen to your heart as well because its message can be smothered under pressure. What's more important?
You really need to talk this through with a pregnancy support worker confidentially. As I think you may be in the states, please search the internet for pregnancy help centres near you. Otherwise, contact our helpline or Online Advisor.