I found out a week ago I was six weeks pregnant for the first time. My first reaction was to cry with disappointment.

By anonymous on 12/09/2008
I found out a week ago I was six weeks pregnant for the first time. My first reaction was to cry with disappointment. My first week I was fine as it did not seem to be real at all. Now into my second week, I have had morning sickness and it has become real to me.

My situation is I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, but we broke up last year for a week after I found out he cheated on me. We got back together straight away but I have lost trust in him. In Feb this year, we rented a flat and broke up again in May as we were arguing when drunk a lot. He gave up on me and threw me out. So I am now back home with my parents. We were not together for eight weeks and now we have decided to give it another go. He has told me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and he can change - but I am still lacking trust in him.

He is already a parent to a child he hardly ever sees and cheated on his ex whilst she was pregnant. So because of these reasons I am thinking of termination. On the other hand, as it has started to sink in, I have imagined having this child and being very happy with it and playing with it and so on. If it wasn’t because of the situation with my boyfriend, I would be happy to keep the baby but because of the situation, I am so confused what to do for the best. I wanted to do this properly and have a home and a secure relationship first but now I am terrified what choice to make because I don't want to regret anything!!!

Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing with us…It seems that the main problem with your situation is the state of your relationship. It doesn’t sound as if you have a problem with being pregnant. You lack trust in your relationship as a good context into which to bring a child, particularly because you also doubt your partner’s commitment to another baby. You wanted it to work out so differently, didn’t you? Your dreams have been messed up too. In addition to that, you are trying to avoid as much pain as possible and this leaves you paralysed, not really knowing which way to go. To sort out all these conflicting influences, and for you to think about what’s going on in your head and your heart, ring the helpline to talk with someone confidentially or visit your nearest centre.

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