I’m 21 weeks pregnant and 17 years old.

By anonymous on 19/11/2008
I’m 21 weeks pregnant and 17 years old. When I found out I was pregnant I was with the father aged 20, who I hadn’t been with for long at all. He couldn’t make his mind up whether we should keep the baby or not, so I said that I was going for an abortion, then he cried and begged me not to take his child from him, therefore I kept the child. We discussed this and decided that we were to keep the child and become a family, but at 19 weeks, we had planned to move closer to my parents so I went down two weeks before him, for him to follow. After the first week, he told me he couldn’t do it and left me, changing his numbers so I could get no contact. I’m really unsure now what to do as I never wanted to be a single mum and do not think I’m ready for it. So I’m looking at adoption, but do not know if it’s the best thing to do????

Editor’s note: Thanks for writing in…Your boyfriend is obviously in two minds about the pregnancy, isn’t he? A part of him really wants to make sure the child was not aborted; another part of him can’t face the losses involved in being a father. Perhaps there is just too much change for him. For you, the decision seems to be between keeping the baby or placing the baby for adoption. Both are possible with the right support. A good first place to start would be to visit your nearest centre so that someone can come alongside you and ensure that you have time and space to think through these two options thoroughly, both practically and emotionally. An advisor can help you make contact with Social Services or another agency to find out more about the adoption process. This does not commit you to anything. The advisor can also stay alongside you throughout your pregnancy in a caring role if you wish, whatever you choose.

If you haven’t done so, read through the pages about parenting and adoption on this website, including the Baby Adoption Today leaflet. You’ll see that for a woman who wants to give the best to her child but doesn’t feel able to, due to her situation in life, adoption can be a positive and responsible option. Have courage to get in touch – don’t be alone. We’ll be thinking of you.

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