I found out four days ago that I am nearly seven weeks pregnant.

By anonymous on 30/01/2009
I found out four days ago that I am nearly seven weeks pregnant. The father is my ex fiancé of seven years. We split up last year and this pregnancy is the result of one night we spent together. He has pretty much made my life hell over the last year and it's for this reason that my family are determined I should have an abortion.

On paper, I know that having a child with my ex could potentially be the worst mistake I've ever made but I can't go through with an abortion. I had to go into to hospital two days ago for an emergency scan due to a suspected ectopic pregnancy. Thankfully everything was ok, but I've now seen my baby. I've seen it has a head and a heartbeat and I can't even begin to imagine getting rid of it. If I decide to keep the baby, I know I will have let my family down and perhaps do them harm with the fact that my ex will always be involved in our lives, but at the same time I feel that if I go through with the abortion, I will always resent them for making me feel like I had to do it.

My circumstances aren't great at the moment. Financially I can't look after a baby without lots of support and by the time the baby is due, I will be starting my second year of my Masters degree. This is really important to me and I don't want to give it up. I would be grateful if there is anyone else out there who has been in a similar situation who could give me any kind of advice at all. Thanks.

Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing about your situation with us…You are feeling all the external pressures of your circumstances right now, yet feel all the internal pressure of having recognised and even bonded to your unborn baby. What matters is what you can live with – not anyone else. Your decision will always be your decision, never theirs. It would help you to consider which is more important: your head’s message or your heart’s? If you did choose to end the pregnancy, where would you feel the pain of that – in your head or your heart? How can you bring your head and your heart to agree with each other? Your nearest centre can help you to sift through all the pressures, explain your options and help you explore all your conflicting feelings so that you can make an informed decision rather than one based on someone else’s expectations. We’ll be thinking of you.

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