I am a 40 year old mother of four children. The youngest is five.
Editor’s note: Thanks for writing in…You are clearly ambivalent about having an abortion and as such you may experience difficult emotions afterwards. Even your head – your logic - is saying that you can make room for this baby; your heart is in no doubt about what it wants you to do. The difficulty is what your husband wants – or thinks he wants. Understandably, many women rely on the support of their partner, but are often forced to make the sacrifice and choose between husband and baby.
It would help both of you to seek support from your nearest centre as soon as possible if you can. Perhaps your husband does not understand the deeper emotional impact of an abortion and it may help him to have that explained to him. How true is it that he would ‘hate you forever’ if you had the baby? It’s sad that he was giving you the silent treatment until you started talking about abortion. He may have legitimate reasons for not wanting the pregnancy to continue, such as having no money, but he also may be underestimating the cost to your relationship. Find the support you need so that you can make the decision you can live with. We’ll be thinking of you.