My first instinct when I found out I was pregnant was to feel happy.

Hi, I wonder if any one else is going through a similar experience to me. I'm 35 and have just found out I'm pregnant by a guy I was seeing for four months. My first instinct when I found out I was pregnant was to feel happy. However, the baby's father has become very verbally aggressive; he is pushing me to have an abortion and is using emotional blackmail to have his way. He lives quite near to me and has told me he has no feelings for me and wants no future with me. I am content to be a single mum but don't know if I have the strength to face his emotional blackmail and nastiness. He seemed content to see and sleep with me for four months but now that this has happened, he wants nothing to do with me and is insisting on abortion.

Is any one else undergoing a similar experience or does any one have any tips or know of counselling services for women that are undergoing this kind of stress? Any advice would be gratefully received. I don't want to get rid of my baby but am not sure if I can endure a lifetime of bad feeling from this guy who, it is now obvious I should never have been spending time with in the first place? Thanks.

Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing about your situation with us…Sadly, this is a familiar story – not that all men react this way to an unplanned pregnancy, but some do and women are left torn and in a difficult dilemma. Many women understandably make decisions about their unplanned pregnancies based on the quality of their relationship but there are deeper issues here as well – your own emotional well-being at a core level. It makes logical sense to end a pregnancy when the father is showing not just indifference but open hostility to the idea of having a child, but our hearts often have another message for us based on our instinct, conscience (sense of what’s right or wrong) and beliefs about being a mother. These must also be attended to, so that you can make the decision that is the healthiest for you. You do not have to do anything you don't want to do. Neither do you have to do what someone else wants you to do! Find out your nearest centre and make an appointment to talk it through, or ring the helpline or use Online Advisor for the support you need right now. You are entitled to the dignity of making the decision for yourself based on what you want. There’s no need to be alone in this – we are here to help.

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