I seem to change my mind every five minutes. I'm booked in for an abortion in two weeks.

By anonymous on 29/10/2009
I seem to change my mind every five minutes. I'm booked in for an abortion in two weeks. My head tells me it is the right decision, but my heart tells me not to do it. I'm 32 and divorced with 3 beautiful children already youngest is 18 month. I had a brief fling with an ex and a few weeks later there I am in Asda toilets staring at a positive pregnancy test. The ex doesn't want to know, I'm on my own. And having also just started a new job I think the sensible thing for me and my family is to have an abortion. Keeping it would mean quitting my job, surviving on benefits as a single mum to 4. I wish someone would just tell me what to do. What if I regret it when its too late? Wishing I could just go to sleep and wake up knowing it was all just a bad dream.

Editor's Comment:

You are in a difficult situation and all the circumstances are pressurising you towards abortion. The battle you describe between your head and your heart is a very real one. Your head tells you the rational option at this point in your life, but your instincts and conscience are already fearing the guilt and regret an abortion may bring. It is important to listen to both.
Think about your circumstances and whether there are options for nursery or childcare you could use to keep your job. Remember that circumstances change all the time and so you should be careful about making a decision just on what is happening in your life at the moment.
Your heart is the core of who you are as a person and if you choose to ignore what your heart is saying you may feel you have betrayed yourself.
It may help you to talk this through with someone before you make your final decision. You can ring the national helpline 0300 4000 999 and speak to a trained advisor. They may also be able to put you in touch with a pregnancy centre in your area.
If you are still undecided by the time of your appointment it is better to postpone it. This will not mean that this door is closed to you, but it is important not to be pressurised into your decision.

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