I am 26 years young and I am currently going through a divorce.
By anonymous on 13/01/2010I am 26 years young and I am currently going through a divorce. I have been seperated from my soon to be ex for almost a year. We have 2 beautiful kids together. In the meantime I have been seeing this guy for 9 months now. I recently found out I was pregnant on Dec. 15 2009 the day after my birthday. I knew I was, I just had a feeling. This pregnancy was very unexpected because I was on birth control. My current boyfriend is supportive of whatever I decide to do. First, abortion was an option for me then I got to researching it and following my pregnancy week by week. I picture myself doing it and it makes me sick, but at the same time I am not prepared for another child being a single mother. Yes, this current boyfriend says he will be there but my feeling towards him are changing, and I think it's because of the situation. Now 9 weeks pregnant my ex knows about this. He wants me to abort this baby and "come back home" one minute,then the next he says he can deal with it. We have been on and off for the last 6 years but at the same time I love him deeply. There is also an issue about this baby being bi-racial. I am already getting comments from my ex that hurt. Our other kids are not bi-racial. I feel no matter what if I love all the kids the same that won't be an issue. My feelings are so all over the place. One minute its abort, then adopt, then keep it, stay with this boyfriend, get back with my ex, just be alone, it's all so confusing to me. More than likely I cannot go through with abortion especially following my pregnancy week by week. This whole situation sucks and I cry daily. I hope whatever I do it will be the right decision and everything will turn out in the long run.
You sound as though you are on a rollercoaster of emotions that are making you feel very uncertain about the decisions you are facing. You probably need to seperate the issue of your relationships from the pregnancy. The decision about your pregnancy is the most pressing one at the moment. Regardless of what happens in your relationships, is abortion an option you could consider? Although your circumstances are very difficult, your comments suggest that choosing abortion would be very hard for you, and you have looked at the fetal development for this stage of your pregnancy. Women who have had children often find abortion a more difficult option.
If you decide that abortion is not the option for you, then you do not have to make any decisions immediately. Whether you choose to keep your baby, or consider an adoption plan can be thought over in the months ahead as your situation with relationships becomes clearer.
If you would like to talk through your options and get some more information, please ring the national helpline 0300 4000 999.