A pregnant 16 year old

I've only been 16 for 4 months and I met this boy who's a bit older than me and we started talking about 2 months before my birthday. We had had history before that, but we stopped talking for 8 months and when we got back in contact we didn't have sex for a while. After my birthday we started to have sex everytime we saw each other. He seemed weird and sneaky, and my friends always tried to warn him off me but I didn't listen because he told me what I wanted to hear.
I found out he was meeting a girl who my bestfriend knows, so I stopped talking to him and seeing him. I did start to have really irritating skin and was going off my favourite foods and craving others but I didn't think anything of it. Then I started sleeping all the time and I was still tired and I still didnt realise! I was getting headaches and more and more symptoms. Then for two days I was bleeding heavily and getting really bad pains in my belly, and I shouldn't have because I thought it was my period and I've been on the pill for 2 months, but it wasn't my period. It went after two days but I still had really sharp pains and they did not feel like period pains. I started to get worried, I knew something was wrong. I felt my belly and it was hard and you can tell there's a little bump. I thought I had just been putting on weight, and I can't believe I only realised a week ago that I have been pregnant for 3 months or maybe a bit more now.
I put my hands on my belly a lot because I just can't believe my child's there.
I've felt movement and thumps against my belly, maybe they are kicks? That's what it feels like to me. Each day I can tell things are changing, my symptoms, emotions. I told 3 of my closest friends about 2 days ago, they think I should get an abortion. I told them I'm going to, but I only said that because it seemed like the easiest thing to do. My parents don't know, or the father and I'm really scared to tell them. Sometimes I feel like I connect with my baby when I put my hand on my belly, and I can feel movement. It feels like the best feeling in the world.
I don't think my friends understand what I'm going through because they have never been pregnant. I know my mum and dad will be deeply ashamed and although they are always there for me, I don't want to put this on them. They have too much going on. I know the father will care, but I just can't bring myself to tell him. I don't know what he will think, he might want me to get an abortion. I'm pretty much on my own and I cry to myself, there's noone! I'm not even going to the doctors or hospital or anything I'm so scared.

Editor's Comment

This is a very big secret for you to be carrying, and at 16 I can imagine you must feel scared of people's reactions, especially when your friends told you to have an abortion, and you are not sure that is what you want. It may help you to talk to someone independent first, so that you can work out what you really want without pressure from anyone else. Then once you feel you have thought through your choices and decision, I think you should be brave and break the news to your parents. They are likely to be shocked and upset, but hopefully will want to support you once they get over their initial reaction. If you would like some help from CareConfidential please contact us.for unplanned pregnancy support.
This story was sent in on 27/11/2011

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