Pregnant again after having twins.

I always wanted 2 kids close together. I met my perfect man about 4 years ago and he wanted kids just as much as I did. We had a wonderful baby boy and about 7 months after the birth we decided to stop birth control expecting it to take quite a few months to get pregnant but I was pregnant within a week. I found out I was having twins but we managed and now have 2 beautiful baby daughters. At the moment my son is 21 months old and my twins are 4 months old and I've just found out that I'm pregnant again. I was on the pill but I had missed a couple. I don't know how far pregnant I am as I've never had a period since the twins. At first I was shocked and terrified. How on earth was I going to cope with 4 kids under 3 and then what if I have twins again that would be 5 babies. We don't have a lot of money and we live in a small 2 bedroom flat that is already far to small for us, and walking to the shop at the end on the street is an hour long affair by the time I take the buggy and 3 babies down the stairs and back up again. I started to panic and spent most of the day crying.

Luckily I found this website after googling to see what options were available.

I felt like I didn't want the baby as I'm already stuggling to cope with 3 babies and post-natal depression. I wasn't comfortable with abortion though and I know I could never go through with an adoption. I phoned up the helpline and spoke to a wonderful advisor who didn't judge. She listened and helped me define how I was feeling. Speaking to her made me realise that a part of me was already thinking about the baby, if they were a girl or boy, who would they look like etc and it was then that I realised I was keeping the baby.
She advised me to take a little time to think about it and talk to my partner (hadn't even told him I was pregnant yet). He thought it was great news and couldn't understand why I wasn't excited. I tried to explain that we are already struggling with 3 babies and he just cuddled me and said we will manage, this is our baby, a part of both of us and we will find a way. I'm still terrified of the thought of another baby in 6-9 months but I know we will manage somehow and it's the right decision.

Editor's Comment

I'm glad that you were able to find support from the helpline when you were panicking and tearful. Having someone independent to talk it through with can give you a clearer perspective. It must have been a shock to find out you were pregnant again. I can understand your anxiety about coping with 4 under 3 years. However it's important to make a decision that you are happy with, even if it will be hard work. I hope you will be able to organise some more support for you and your family. There may be a pregnancy centre near you that could help you with this.

This story was sent in on 23/01/2013

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