We decided we are going to keep this baby

I have been dwelling on a decision since I found out about my unwanted pregnancy (5 days today). My heart said one thing but my head was telling me how we can't cope with this, financially, physically, I can't do it mentally... I already have an 11 month old baby who I am still breastfeeding, I've just returned back to work, we have been struggling with money and a place to live for a year now. I was planning things differently. And this happened.

I am blessed to have a husband who fully supports me. We were contemplating having an abortion and I actually made an appointment, which would have been tomorrow.
But today I spoke to a lovely lady on the helpline, who laid things clearer on the table so to speak and told me to stop worrying about the future and live now, today. This is what matters. And it is true. Write down what you will gain and what you will lose, and then come to a conclusion. And today we decided we are going to keep this baby. You can never regret having a baby; you can regret taking a decision that wasn't 100% sure.

I've called the Marie Stopes helpline and cancelled my appointment, and the lady I spoke to congratulated me and sounded happy for me. I've called the family and everyone was ecstatic but upset I even considered having an abortion.
It is going to be difficult as I don't feel ready, but then we are not getting any younger. I'm sure I'll find the strength from somewhere... I feel guilt for my peanut that I considered not keeping it.

Ladies out there if you have the slightest doubt in your heart please reconsider all the options. Call counsellors - they won't judge you or help you make a decision in particular, they are there to listen and be impartial. Everyone has the right to choose, and no one should be put to shame. Don't go against your morals either, they represent you. I feel for any person that has to go through such torment.
I am finally happy after days of crying, feeling torn and being overwhelmed by feelings. I feel ready for what is coming and hope for the best.

Editor's Comment

I am glad that you are happy and settled with your decision to have your baby. Unintended pregnancy can throw you into a crisis and make you doubt your ability to cope, so it is good that someone impartial could talk you through your options and help you to work out what was right for you. for unplanned pregnancy support.

This story was sent in on 16/06/2014

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