We had unprotected sex, now I'm pregnant

So me and my boyfriend have been together for about 4 months... We had unprotected sex after the 3rd month, but weren't trying to start family. Now I'm pregnant.
I told him after I missed my period and took two test. I haven't made it to a clinic yet though, but I am going to be going in a few hours.
We thought of aborting it, but it made us both sad so we changed our minds to adoption. Then it made my family sad and he thought his family would be sad also, but we're not ready for a child as we're both 20 and at the same time we want to keep it until we are ready.

My mother does not wants us to regret giving it up and for both of us to finish college so she told me she would raise it until we're ready. It doesn't seem right to do that to her, but we have so many dreams before we're ready to have a family and they might not be done by 25 or 28.. I worry that even though we're a part of it's life we won't be a whole part because we wouldn't have raised it. Plus my boyfriend now feels a little trapped because I'm pregnant. I don't want him to, but he says he loves me and wants to make this work because he loves me. Now I'm unsure if we'll make it together because I'm pregnant and he feels trapped by it. He says he wants what we have to work out, but then we still have a child to deal with and his whole life has done a 360... What do I do? I don't want him to feel trapped. I want to do right with the baby and him, but I don't want to trap someone I love.

Editor's Comment

The first decision that you have to make is whether to continue the pregnancy, or have an abortion. If you felt sad at the prospect of having an abortion, your heart was not lining up with what your head was choosing, and this made you change your mind about your decision. If these 2 essential parts of you are different, it will be very painful to go ahead with abortion, but equally listening just to your heart response is making you anxious as you try to see how this will work out in practice. Adoption can be a positive option and there are also other categories such as legal guardianship which are not quite so final. In the end 'feeling trapped' is a state of mind rather than a reality. Choosing parenthood is a big responsibility, but it doesn't have to be the end of life and freedom as you know it! A child can fit into your plans and future, you just have to adapt them to include a child. If you would like to have some more support in your decision making please call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, or follow the link for unplanned pregnancy support.
This story was sent in on 23/09/2014

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