We decided to keep it, I accept it's going to be hard, but I'm pretty sure we can do it

Hi everyone, I thought maybe it would help people if I shared my story from start to beginning as the stories I've read have really inspired me.

So I'm 19 years old, I met my boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 22. I kept our relationship a secret for around 7 months as my parents have been known to have strict ways and I was not allowed to have a boyfriend untill the age of 18, this I clearly found really hard as I really loved him.

When it came to telling my parents on my 18th birthday it worked out better than expected, apart from the age gap really bugged her.

Anyway, so just under a year after that I found out I was pregnant the first time. I was absolutely terrified as I hadn't even finished my college course, I had dreams of being a qualified hairdresser despite battling my mental health (I'll mention that in a minute).

But sadly my pregnancy ended in miscarriage in the 7th week, me and my boyfriend found it hard, he was so supportive and went to the scan with me, up and down the hospital. It was very hard as none of my family knew, but his did.

After this my mental health took a turn for the worst, this happened between April/May and by June/July I developed a rare mental condition called Agoraphobia, this is when a person struggles in themselves to leave the house the idea of going anywhere is the most scariest thing to us, it turns your stomach and takes over your body. Although at this point I was so glad to have my boyfriend, as he understood.

3 months on, and I found out I am now pregnant again. So this time all thoughts run through your head, will I loose it again? Am I going to be any good?

I'm currently around 7 weeks now, no one knows except for my boyfriend and his mom, which ok it's hard to keep such a big secret especially when the illness starts to kick in, but the truth is I find it hard to tell my parents as we've already addressed they are very strict. I no longer live with them so it's easier to hide.

Of course me and my boyfriend have decided to keep it, even though we dont have a lot of money, my job is only part-time, and he's on the sick due to reasons I wouldn't like to express. So I accept it's going to be hard, but I'm pretty sure we can do it.

I guess it's important that we remind ourselves that we are all capable of doing things we want to do, no matter how old you are.

Having been through an awful lot in the past I hope people find the same strength that I have, I am recovering mentally and really looking forward to the future.

No matter your age, where you come from, what you do or whatever your situation you can stay positive and you can do it :) x

This story was sent in on 24/09/2015

Other keeping my baby stories...

So many people are gonna judge me if I have the baby

I feel horrible - I've already seen my baby moving at the 8 week scan…

Previous

I'm 9 weeks pregnant now and I'm very very stressed

In my first weeks, I wanted to abort, because I know it won't be easy…

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or have been affected by similar issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be difficult but can be very rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →