I practically forced my girlfriend to get rid of the baby
Fair to say it was a complete shock!
I reacted in a completely pig headed horrible way, telling my girlfriend to get rid of it. At the time I was purely thinking with my head and not giving any other part of me a say! All I could think about was how keeping the baby would effect my completion of uni. which looking back was completely ridiculous!
After a few days of deliberation and arguments I practically forced my girlfriend to get rid of the baby.From the second she went up to the room I started to realise what I was doing to her and my baby. The thought of it filled me with regret and hatred for myself and still does to this day! I will never be able to forgive myself.
My girlfriend was understandably unconsoleably upset.
The feeling of guilt that I felt was completely heart breaking, yet I felt guilty for even feeling upset about the whole event.
My girlfriend is soo amazing that when I cried about it she stopped to comfort me. I hated myself for her doing this. I did not deserve her sympathy. I had bought all of this pain upon myself and deserved every second of it.
The regret I felt was more than I had ever envisaged...It's safe to say that there is nothing that I regret more in my life!! It was the single worst day of my life and I would give anything to go back and change the decisions I made!
The worst thing of all is that no matter what you may think, it is never just one day of upset and pain. The pain of what I did will stay with me for the rest of my life and has affected the type of person that I am now.
It is not just a decision that effects one day in your life. I urge anyone who loves their partner to think VERY hard about this decision. It is one that you will for certain regret!!!! Myself and every other guy on here are prime examples! Please learn from my mistakes
Editor's CommentYour guilt and regret are very evident, and you are taking a lot of responsibility for what happened. It must have taken courage and humility to admit to the pressure you put your girlfriend under, and sad that you realised it once she had gone for the abortion.
We often encourage women to have post abortion counselling and support, while men are sometimes forgotten. I think that for many men the chance to express some of the pain they are going through is very important. I wonder if you have thought about this for yourself? Perhaps you have felt that you don't have the right to this and that you should be suffering? Please consider accessing post abortion support for yourself. You can't change the past but you can change the way you think, and learn and grow from this experience.
This story was sent in on 07/06/2011