A termination 24 years ago
By anonymous on 12/10/2011I was 19 and my girlfriend was 16. She was on a youth training scheme and I was temping in a factory. We found out she was pregnant and knew we could not support a baby as we were both living with parents and terminating the pregnancy seemed the quickest and easiest decision I have ever made.
Little did I know that 24yrs later a call to a local radio station phone-in would suddenly make my beautiful daughter real, and the hurt and guilt and overwhelming love of my beautiful perfect little girl would consume me. I made the decision we would never talk about the termination and we never did to anyone or to each other.
I sometimes used to think how old she would be but without upset, and then I would put her back in the box in my mind and carry on carefree.
Then driving to work 24 years later there was a radio phone-in on abortion, and my first thought was 'no way am I getting involved'. Then the presenter said they would love to hear from any men who's partners had been through an abortion. I thought 'ok I can speak in memory of our girl'. As I began to speak I realised I had never talk to anyone of my story and now I was telling the world. When they referred to my baby she became real, she did exist and I became overwhelmed with sorry and love for my daughter, I remembered where the termination happened and bought a single pure white rose. I wrote her a message telling her how I loved her, how sorry I was and her Daddy would never forget her again, she is going to be part of my life and my family’s, I will visit at xmas and on other special occasions, or just because I want to spend some time with her.
I LOVE YOU MY BABY, I AM SO SORRY I WILL NEVER HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS, SLEEP TIGHT AND DADDY WILL BE WITH YOU SOON, XXXXXXXXXX