The account begins in the mid 1970s when my then partner and I were students in the south of England

Following an excellent and rehabilitating course of post termination counselling from the Cedar Oak Pregnancy Crisis Centre in Gosport I wish to describe my experience of an unplanned pregnancy approximately thirty five years ago. Particularly I wish to relay the impact of the consequences of this on my personal life since then. I do this largely for the benefit of others finding themselves in the position I was in at that time and since that time. The account begins in the mid 1970s when my then partner and I were students in the south of England . We both came from respectable families when an unwanted pregnancy was 'unacceptable'. Fearful of the consequences in all sorts of ways and ignorant of the alternatives we chose to terminate the pregnancy. Since that time my then partner and I have coped with our action in different ways . To the best of my knowledge my then partner has largely been able deal with the event more easily than I have been able to. In my case after a few years of initial relief my inner feelings turned to those of guilt and shame. These feelings were kept secret from the outside world at all costs. Despite 'good' periods of coping with the situation it has often had a powerful adverse impact on my general self esteem and confidence which sometimes has been a contributory factor to bouts of depression. My coming to terms better with my feelings has been aided enormously some thirty five years later by the course of counselling offered by Cedar Oak, a pregnancy counselling charity in Gosport. The Cedar Oak course takes the form of a 'Journey' and I am grateful to have been able to make that journey as it helped me so much. I commend this caring service to anyone affected by a termination whether directly or indirectly. Editor's Comment:- Thank you so much for writing in and I am glad you have had the help you needed from Cedar Oak. I'm sure that your comments will help other people who have been affected, perhaps years ago, and feel they can't access help after such a long time. It must have taken you courage to contact the centre, and hopefully others will be encouraged to take that first step to get help.
This story was sent in on 17/11/2009

Other similar/related stories…

Just over 3 years ago my partner and I found out she was pregnant.

Previous

My partner told me that she had had a termination, five days after!

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or are being affected by similar issues from your past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be very difficult but rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →