A miscarriage at 46

At 46 I found I was expecting. I had two teenagers. My partner was horrified but said I could decide what to do. He wouldn't be around though as we weren't getting on.
After a few days, I knew this was someone's life and I would do my best to look after them.
Because of my age, I had many scans over the first few weeks. The placenta was there, and a 1cm sac, but no embryo. I was offered a stay in hospital to remove what continued to grow, but I decided to let things happen naturally at home.
Blood clots began to come away, and over a few days there was heavy bleeding. The pains grew stronger, almost like early labour, until the placenta came away. I had to take regular paracetemol and ibuprofen for the pain over a few days. I felt very lightheaded due to the blood loss. I had a final scan to check that the womb was okay and everything had gone.

I felt very irresponsible and silly, as I didn't realise one could get pregnant at 46.

I also felt sad, as every new life is precious, and this one had been and gone almost before I knew it. When I see toddlers, I realise how much time has passed since it happened, although I know I would have been very tired and wish I had been more wise about what I was doing.

Editor's Comment

It is always very sad to lose a pregnancy through miscarriage even when the pregnancy is unexpected. You may feel the need to talk this through with someone who can help you to grieve your loss. Please follow the link to find a centre for miscarriage support in your area.

This story was sent in on 08/02/2011

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