2 miscarriages 5 years apart

I am 24 years old. In July of 2007 almost 2 months after I graduated Highschool, I found out I was pregnant! I was even more excited to tell my soon to be mother in law because it was the day of her birthday, July 22nd.
After telling family the news everyone was so EXCITED. I was only 19 but I was holding down a decent job and fixing to get married and had finished Highschool.
My Fiance was working full time as well. We were OK now to have a baby.

I had my first Ultrasound done but the Dr saw NO baby or heartbeat??

She said I was probably too early. So I went back a couple weeks later and still no heartbeat or baby?
At 19 years old I really didn't know what was normal or how to feel? I just went on like a normal pregnant person.
On my way to work with a friend I told her that I thought I was bleeding, I felt a gush come out of me.
She drove me to the hospital and I was told I was having a threatened abortion/miscarriage. I got no more answers. Well I took off work and went home. I was sad and empty. It was then that I began heavy bleeding and passing of clots. I was in EXCRUCIATIING PAIN so I went in to the ER and was given a DNC and sent home.
I can't explain how I even felt. I was getting ready to get married to my boyfriend of 4 years in September 22nd exactly one month after I miscarried which was August 22nd, 2007. I was not PREPARED. We had just lost a baby.

We cancelled the wedding date and moved it to December 1st 2007.

Time went on and I had plenty of GRIEVING time, YES I TRULY GRIEVED. :( I prayed almost everyday for GOD to give us a baby. I stopped taking my birth control pill as soon as I got married. Because I was ready to TRY this time. Exactly 3 weeks after we got married I conceived!
On Christmas Eve, I found out that I was pregnant on January 7,2008. I was full of JOY and HOPE! I thanked GOD SOOOOOOOO MUCH. In August of 2008 I gave birth to my sweet baby girl. She was absolutley perfect just the way god made her! flawless and Beautiful. She is now 4 years..:) It is now November 1, 2012. On June 19, 2012 I found out I was pregnant AGAIN. OMG! SOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPPPY!!!!! We were trying this time and I was so excited for my daughter to have a baby sister/brother?
Well time went on and I had my first Ultrasound and low and behold...No baby was found. My heart SANK, I was ANGRY! I felt pregnant, had every symptom...I just felt in my heart that this baby was MEANT to be. I never expected my first US to turn in to this agian. I went home and CRIED. And cried.........& cried. We had another US again 2 weeks later which would put me at 9 weeks 4 days.
This time I went back with a joyful heart and ready to see the baby this time, I just figured the last US I was too early. So we went back and still NO BABY but there was a sac and placenta present.

Everything was there BUT the baby.

Why? Why? Why, God are you allowing this to happen?? Again????....My HCG levels were rising and everything seemed NORMAL, I felt great. I got a 2nd opinion outside of my hosptial and still got the same answer. This is when I turned my preganancy button OFF. I no longer ate like I was pregnant, I just acted as if I was NOT. I was HURT AND ANGRY AND SAD AND LOST?? I had my LAST/US #4 on August 22nd 2012...RING A BELL????? August 22nd 2007 I lost my first baby. Now 5 years later I am losing my 2nd baby.
The Dr's would not give me answers or anything. They left me hanging for about 7 weeks from my 7th week of pregnancy. I was now 14 weeks. I lost the baby on August 23rd 2012. I went in to the ER From MASSIVE BLEEDING, SCARY LOW BP, BLOOD LOSS, SEVERE INFECTION, all because my Dr didn't want to help me. He literally left me without an answer, he just sent me home with a pill to make me go into labor to abort the tissue inside of me. He almost KILLED me. But by the GRACE OF GOD, I am alive. Jesus has a plan for our life. We have a beautiful little girl. She is an Angel. And I hope one day God will give us another angel.

Right now, I am scared of even getting pregnant.

I cannot handle anymore miscarriages. I have even thought of getting my tubes tied. But I keep trying to hold on to the WHAT IF??? so now my story ends with hope and prayers that GOD will intervene and let his will be done. He has blessed us many times and will agian. I cannot wait to see my babies in heaven. If God brings us too it, He will bring us THROUGH it.

Editor's Comment

It is very sad that you have had 2 miscarriages, and I can understand your fear of getting pregnant in case it happens again. It is very hard to go through these losses and you will need to give yourselves time to grieve your loss, and recover physically as well as emotionally. Sometimes there are no answers as to why this happens, but it must be difficult for you to cope with the way you have been treated and not given more help and support.

Free help & support

If you're struggling through a situation similar to this abortion story, or have been affected by issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

Story Categories

Tell your story

The information submitted in the stories section is generated solely by the public.

Would you like to tell other people about your experiences?