A miscarriage at 7 weeks.My boyfriend and I were together for five years - high school sweethearts, since I was 15. However, we both had aspirations and got accepted at our chosen universities. His university of choice was overseas and gradually our relationship grew more and more difficult. We still loved each other but it was impossible to carry on as we were.
After a horrendous break up, a few weeks later my period was late. I put it down to perhaps the stress of the break-up, but a pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear - I was pregnant.
Immediately, my boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend as I hate to think of him, stepped up and took control of the situation, asking me what I wanted to do, did I want to keep it and if I didn't he would arrange for an alternative at a local clinic. He really turned into the man that I knew he could be, the man I knew was inside of him all along. I was so proud of him and felt so protected and much more at ease with it all.
My calculations told me I was five weeks pregnant. I decided that I would maybe want to keep it and although this was not when or how we wanted to have a family, it was something we had always wanted together, just not so soon.
We were going to work through our issues and raise a family together.But, sadly at seven weeks pregnant, I miscarried. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through, and he was still away at university and so I had to go through it all alone.
I know that the baby wasn't planned and I wasn't aware of the pregnancy for that long, but the emotion and grief I felt was unbelievable.
My boyfriend's amazing attitude gradually decreased now he no longer had the responsibility of the baby to think of, we are still apart but he is here for me whenever I need to ring him and talk about it. Now I feel like I have lost both him and our baby. **I felt like a part of me had died.** I never thought my first pregnancy would be in this situation, or end in the way that it did...
Editor's CommentYou often bond with your unborn baby almost as soon as you find out you are pregnant, so the sadness and grief you felt after the miscarriage is very understandable. I am sorry that your boyfriend has not continued to support you, and if you would like some more support CareConfidential can help you. find a centre for miscarriage support in your area. or call the national helpline 0300 4000 999.
This story was sent in on 05/12/2012