3 traumatic miscarriages

Well my story makes me feel guilty straight away. Up until the age of 34 I didn't want children and having being diagonised with PCOS(polycystic ovary syndrome), without typical symptoms, it was fine, having a family was not on the agenda.
This all changed when I fell in love, found my husband and we married in the summer of June 2011. Everything changed, we decided to start trying for a baby after our wedding and by what we considered a miracle I fell pregnant in the August 2011. This was against all the odds, as we had been told this would be the hardest part and we may need intervention to achieve this. Well this excitment was short lived because at 10 weeks I started to bleed. It was a weekend and A&E couldn't help until the following week. We went back to go through the ordeal of sitting in a maternity ward waiting for the scan to be told it was looking like a impending miscarriage. We were told to go away and come back in 7 days. The agony continued because the bleeding was light and we were left praying it was all a mistake but it wasn't. A week later revealed an empty sac-no baby. So got booked in the next day to have a ERPC.
We both dealt with this by ourselves not sharing this with anyone. We put it down to mother nature taking its course. I went back to work and no one was any of the wiser. The pain was always there especially when as a manager the first task I am faced with is dealing with a pregnant colleague needing to let me know they were 12 weeks pregnant.
Nevertheless no-one would have known the pain inside and life moved on.
~Then in March 2012, I recognised the early pregnancy signs and then the missed period and a pregnancy test proved I was pregnant. Again we were over the moon, but 8 weeks in the tummy pain started. Naturally I was nervous I spoke to my doctor and she assured me this is normal but again 2 weeks later bleeding started.
We went back to the hospital and they were concerned it was a miscarraige again, sent me away for a further 7 days. When we went back we were expecting the worst.
Then by some miracle she scanned me and found two sacs, it was twins! Then came the second blow, one had a heart beat the other was too small to tell what was happening so we were sent away for another week so it had time to develop-it was agony.
Again the bleeding subsided so I was positive but when we went back my world fell apart again. Both babies were no longer living, my uterus was collapsing but not enough to pass it naturally. The doctor recommended to try medical intervention to help nature take its course. So I opted for the pills. We had to go to the hospital over two days to get the medication. We went home to wait for this nightmare to be over. I had pains bleeding and really imagined this was like childbirth. We went to the hospital 4 days later thinking the worst was over. Wrong, the scan proved the medication had not worked! So I had to be booked for the following day to have another ERPC. I had a bad feeling that morning, I really did not want this operation but I knew it was what I had to do. I went down for the operation, but when I came round I did not feel well. I realised quickly I was feel faint and then I realised I was losing a lot of blood. The doctors and nurses were suddenly around me and then before I had chance to realise what was happening a doctor was internally examining me and told me I was haemorrhaging and they may need to re-operate they thought they had damaged my uterus.
I begged for my husband to be there and explained I did not want to go through this unless they were 100% confident. I was terrified and I just knew my gut feeling was right. He gave me a 1/2 hour to improve which I did. I then had to stay in hospital and have treatment for this.
My husband was amazing and still is now, we decided again not to share this with anyone we were just so sad and couldn't bear telling the story.
We had an appointment after begging from me with a specialist to try and look further into this. They were not helpful and gave us the party line 'this happened often and you have to have 3 miscarriages before they will investigate'. Well after some persistance we did get some basic tests done but nothing we could have not done outside of this for infections. I knew I was clean etc.
So again back to life as normal we have now experienced a 3rd miscarriage this year. We are now having to explore our options of what next...
There appears very little help with fertility. I am concerned now aged 35 and knowing my mother, grand-mother and aunties all experienced menopause between 36-40! We are healthy people, eating healthy diets, exercise 3 times a week and never abused our bodies. We are now looking to seek a private appointment to see a London specialist to explore our options.
We just hope our chance has not been missed, it is very the painful but we still have hope. I hope anyone reading this hasn't been through anything similar but I know reading about others in similar situations can help. I wish you all good luck and hope to one day look back in a happier place with a another addition to our family.

Editor's Comment

This is very sad and you have been through a very painful time. I too hope that you will get some answers that will help with this problem. I hope that the Norwich pregnancy service have been able to support you.

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