I'm 17, yes only 17 years old and I was pregnant.

I'm 17, yes only 17 years old and I was pregnant. I want to share this story to get it off my chest and to make sure people understand teen pregnancy does not mean you're a slut or a bad person. I used contraception so didn't have a second thought about pregnancy until I was about a month and a half late. I took two pregnancy tests over a week which both came up negative but I'm quite irregular and am stressed at college at the moment so thought that was the reason. Then I was 2 months late and knew there was another reason, I was 90% sure I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do, I was only thinking of adoption or abortion, I didn't want to abort a child but I had drunk a lot of alcohol before realising I was pregnant and still struggle with anorexia and depression so felt my body getting bigger and having to give away my child would be hard for me to handle. I couldn't raise it on my own either, I can't financially support a child as well as myself. Then, on my sister's birthday, at the most, 9 weeks pregnant, I didn't need to make a choice, I started my miscarriage. At first I thought the pain was morning sickness which then grew stronger and then I began bleeding. No one knows and no one will ever know, not even the father. The only thing I really need to be able to say without whispering through my tears to an empty room is goodbye my wonderfully beautiful, darling child. I'm sorry I failed you, I promise I will try to be a better person to make you proud. I love you, words cannot describe how much I love and miss you without even holding or meeting you. Forever and always, you'll be in my heart.

Editor's Comment

Thank you, it was brave of you to post this sad story of grief and loss. It sounds as though you are locked in secrecy over your pregnancy, with no one knowing that you were pregnant. You need to grieve but you have not been able to tell anyone what has happened. If you would like miscarriage support it is available. Please call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log oto Online advisor, or find a centre for miscarriage support in your area.

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