I spent all my savings on travelling to a country where I could get pregnant

I spent all my savings on travelling to a country where I could get pregnant as a lesbian woman.
After 3 months I was pregnant, but early in the pregnancy I lost it. Unfortunately I was and am in a country where lesbians have no access to fertility treatments, so after a few months I went back to travelling abroad for help.
I had 3 so called chemical pregnancies that terminated before week 9. Then I couldn't afford to get medical help any more and tried with a private donor and a syringe, but I didn't get pregnant again.
That was six years ago. I still cannot shake the sadness. Every year around this time I remember how it was to feel the hormones kick in and to look forward to becoming a mother. Now I am over forty. I will not have my own kids. I am so sad about it, but I feel like I cannot admit to anyone that I am still grieving. It feels wrong to still be stuck on this when I have a wonderful life and so many blessings, but I am.

Editor's Comment

It is very sad when a pregnancy ends in miscarriage especially when the conception was difficult. Fertility treatment is also very expensive with quite a high failure rate. It may help you to have some counselling to try and overcome the difficult emotions you are still feeling. find a centre for miscarriage support in your area.

Free help & support

If you're struggling through a situation similar to this abortion story, or have been affected by issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

Story Categories

Tell your story

The information submitted in the stories section is generated solely by the public.

Would you like to tell other people about your experiences?