Miscarrying a child is hard to do

The worst story ever to tell, stopping myself from crying .IT WAS jan 15 WE WENT FOR ULTRA SOUND DOC SAID" EVERYTHING WAS ALRIGHT . SO I went home and continued on. Feb 13 I start bleeding a little and mucus like stuff comes out. I rushed to hospital 2 times, they didn't even check me and said it was normal. I went home and I had extremely bad back pain, I felt chills immediately. I tried to get doc appointment but wasn't till 25 of feb.
I went to doc on the 20. She told me it was some bleeding up there and I should go for an emergency ultra sound the next day.
I went the lady was like God bless you please get this paper to your doc quickly. So the next day I went to see her and she opened the letter and told me I had miscarried. By then my pregnancy was coming back negative.
She gave me some pills to take and I went for a long walk.
I had the worst pain in my life, my back was hurting. I went to use the restroom it came out like water but blood. I looked down I saw my precious baby drop in the water and I immediately felt sick.
The bleeding lasted for about two week or less. I lost so much blood I felt light headed. I knew something was wrong my stomach wasn't hard any more, I didn't feel sick in the morning and loss of appetite.

I never thought I would know what it's like to go through it. I so badly wanted to have my baby most importantly his first baby. AT times I can't talk about it, it makes me sick and tear up.
It's been 5 months now. Miscarrying a child is hard to do, I pray it gave someone relief, now I can talk about it. Had I known I was about to lose my child I wish I could have gave my last breathe instead, I can't picture not having my child with me . It's even harder now because the due date is near and it flew here. I don't know what I'm going to do august 24. I no longer have a baby and it hurts bad.

Editor's Comment

I am so sorry for your very distressing loss. Nothing can prepare you for an event like this when you are pregnant and looking forward to having your baby. It will take you time to grieve for your loss and as you say the anniversary date is difficult to anticipate. I would encourage you to do something special on that day. Maybe buy something as a remembrance, or plant a shrub/tree, light a candle in a local church. This will help you to focus your grief and work through some of your emotions.

This story was sent in on 16/06/2014

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