We have had a pregnancy scare back in January

By anonymous on 31/03/2014
I'm 15 years old, going on 16 in a few months. I am not pregnant, I don't think I am at least, but I want to be. I can't tell anyone else this, not even my own boyfriend. We have had a pregnancy scare back in January, I had symptoms and everything, I researched about everything I was experiencing , and it all led to pregnancy. I was absolutely terrified, and my boyfriend was with me the entire time.
Me being a stubborn person, I wouldn't take a pregnancy test because I was scared it would come out positive. I did get my period a couple weeks later, and I was a little confused but it passed. When I did think I was pregnant though, I was scared and not happy at all.
But now, all I really want is a baby. I want a little boy or girl I can call my own, someone I can take care of and look after. I can't tell anyone, because I know if I did everyone would say don't do it, you're going to throw your life away, wait till you're out of high school and all that.

I want so badly to tell my boyfriend, but I'm afraid of what he'll do. He has told me before that if it ever happened that I got pregnant, he would never leave me and he would stick by me through it all.
I fantasize about holding a little baby in my arms, and taking care of him or her, looking after them, feeding them, having people over to come see them, but I don't know. I just wanted to put this out there and get it off my chest. Don't tell me not to, as I was never going to plan to have a kid. I just really want one and I needed to put it somewhere. My boyfriend and I did have unprotected sex on March 24, and I'm just waiting to see if anything happened, which I don't think it will, but if it did I would be so happy. I know about paying for them and all that, but like I said I'm not planning it, so there's no need to say anything about that. I just can't shake the feeling of wanting a baby boy or girl.

Editor's Comment

It is quite a normal feeling to want a baby and most women dream about the family they want long before they have one. Having a pregnancy scare has probably just brought it into sharp focus for you. The thing is, you say you are not planning a baby, but having unprotected sex is really doing just that. If you have unprotected sex you will get pregnant at some point. I think that as much as you don't want to hear this, I would go on a reliable contraception until you are sure it is what you want rather than thinking, 'if it happens, it happens'.

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