We have had a pregnancy scare back in January

I'm 15 years old, going on 16 in a few months. I am not pregnant, I don't think I am at least, but I want to be. I can't tell anyone else this, not even my own boyfriend. We have had a pregnancy scare back in January, I had symptoms and everything, I researched about everything I was experiencing , and it all led to pregnancy. I was absolutely terrified, and my boyfriend was with me the entire time.
Me being a stubborn person, I wouldn't take a pregnancy test because I was scared it would come out positive. I did get my period a couple weeks later, and I was a little confused but it passed. When I did think I was pregnant though, I was scared and not happy at all.
But now, all I really want is a baby. I want a little boy or girl I can call my own, someone I can take care of and look after. I can't tell anyone, because I know if I did everyone would say don't do it, you're going to throw your life away, wait till you're out of high school and all that.

I want so badly to tell my boyfriend, but I'm afraid of what he'll do. He has told me before that if it ever happened that I got pregnant, he would never leave me and he would stick by me through it all.
I fantasize about holding a little baby in my arms, and taking care of him or her, looking after them, feeding them, having people over to come see them, but I don't know. I just wanted to put this out there and get it off my chest. Don't tell me not to, as I was never going to plan to have a kid. I just really want one and I needed to put it somewhere. My boyfriend and I did have unprotected sex on March 24, and I'm just waiting to see if anything happened, which I don't think it will, but if it did I would be so happy. I know about paying for them and all that, but like I said I'm not planning it, so there's no need to say anything about that. I just can't shake the feeling of wanting a baby boy or girl.

Editor's Comment

It is quite a normal feeling to want a baby and most women dream about the family they want long before they have one. Having a pregnancy scare has probably just brought it into sharp focus for you. The thing is, you say you are not planning a baby, but having unprotected sex is really doing just that. If you have unprotected sex you will get pregnant at some point. I think that as much as you don't want to hear this, I would go on a reliable contraception until you are sure it is what you want rather than thinking, 'if it happens, it happens'.

Free help & support

If you're struggling through a situation similar to this abortion story, or have been affected by issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

Story Categories

Tell your story

The information submitted in the stories section is generated solely by the public.

Would you like to tell other people about your experiences?