I wasn't thinking of having sex but the pressure was getting to me
I was 15 and a virgin. I honestly was not thinking of having sex at that tender young age but, the pressure was getting to me. Out of every single one of my friends, I was still pure.
Anyways, i met this boy (he was so cuuuuuuuute) through a friend, we never spoke, we were just feeling each other's presence.
Days later, he hit me up on Instagram asking for my number. I gave it to him and we were talking a lot over messenger. He was sending me texts telling me that "he loves me" and "I want you to be mine" and all of that lovey dovey stuff.
Then one day he popped up and told me to come to his house and I thought, why not? So I got dressed and took the train to his.
When I had got there he was telling me that his mum was still in.
I was a bit sceptical about this because I didn't understand if he invited me to stand out in the cold :/ anyways, since he didn't have a free yard, we were just walking around and talking and having a good time.
Out of nowhere, we started kissing passionately. After a while, I asked him to stop because I was uncomfortable with the fact that he had basically stole my first kiss!! When he stopped, he started again!
This time he put his hands down my trousers and said that he is going to his house to see if his mum was still there. Minutes later, he came out with the news that nobody was home. We went to his room kissing and taking off our clothes.
He started with a condom but it dropped on the floor
He started with a condom but it had dropped on the floor. So when he inserted his penis again, I was feeling some intense pressure and pain. I looked down to see why it felt so different this time and I saw he wasn't using a condom. I pushed him away and asked where it was??! He said that his "pull out game" was strong. I then laid back down and allowed him to finish.
I didn't get my period
Fast forward, I didn't get my period that month and I was confused so I confided in one of my friends to help me. She took me to her own local clinic where the doctor gave me a test which indicated that I was pregnant. At this point, I had so many emotions running through my head.
I was scared because I didn't know how I was going to tell the boy (who is not my boyfriend) and I didn't know how I was going to tell my parents who trusted me not to make silly mistakes like this!
I eventually came up with the courage to tell the boy who was 17. When telling him he had apologised and said it was up to me what I wanted to do.
My baby didn't ask to be here
I was turning crazy at this point, I didn't want to kill my baby. It didn't ask to be here! But I was a straight-A student and I didn't want this precious child to ruin, I prayed and told God that I was returning the baby's life to him as if I was to have the baby, it would destroy everything that I had and lived for.
The boy was upset that I was aborting his baby, but I had to think about me, I know it sounds selfish, but he wasn't my boyfriend and I wasn't willing to 1. Bring up my baby in a divided unit or 2. Force myself to love him for the sake of the baby.
We went to the clinic together: I was 100% sure, he was 0% sure
Anyways, we went to the clinic together and the doctors went through everything with us and assured us that we were sure that we wanted to terminate our creation. I was 100% sure, and clearly, buy his tears, he was 0% sure, as I was about to start the process of my abortion, he left, punching walls and slamming doors.
The doctor expressed that having an abortion was definitely in my favour as he was sceptical about the boys behaviour towards me. I went along with the painful process. As I had finished and had a conversation with the doctor, I left.
I felt ill, quilty on the behalf of the boy, the baby and betraying the trust between my parents and I.
In the end, I was happy with my choice, I got all my expected grades and I'm going to be attending the 5th excellent college in London.