I'm 17 and had a positive test but he didn't want my baby.

I am 17 years old and I was messing around with a close friend. On Christmas Day we decided to have sex with one another. So on January 9th I was suppose to get my period and it never came, So on The 16th of that month I took a pregnancy test and tested positive . I was happy because I was going to be a mother, but then yet again sad because of how the father reacted .

He didn't want my baby

Weeks went by and I cried every night because this was something I wanted something that my parents supported me on, but yet the father wasn't speaking to me and that tore me up inside emotionally. So on February 25th we finally spoke and he let me know that he didn't want my baby. And me growing up without both parents I didn't want that for my child. Not saying I wanted a happy home, but for my baby to come into this world knowing both parents loved him or her. It was hard and I cried because its not right that my child is no longer here because the father wants to be immature and not grow up.
Now it's been 2 days and I've been having thoughts about committing suicide. I never went through this before. I look at my sonogram every night before I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning. I'm trying to conceive again. It's only right. I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING SOMEONE BUT I NEED HELP MYSELF.

Editor's Comment

What a painful thing to have happened to you with someone you regarded as a close friend. You must feel very let down by him. It is hard to consider having a baby without the support of a partner, and for you it was important that your baby was loved and wanted by both of you.
You are now going through a difficult time of grief and regret, and I think it would help you to have someone to walk that path with you. It sounds very raw at the moment and I would urge you to talk to someone if you are feeling suicidal. However hard it feels it's important that you think carefully before you try for another baby. It's very understandable that you want to try and replace what you have lost, but it may be important to give yourself time and space to work through your grief first. Please look at the web site and see if there is a centre near you where you can go for some help and support. You can follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area. , or contact Online Advisor, or the helpline 0300 4000 999.