Don't believe everything you read and don't let it put you off making the right choice

I am 30 years old and had a medical abortion with BPAS at 7 weeks 1 day.

I was totally confused about what I wanted to do... after writing extensive lists, having long, LONG conversations with my husband and extensive debates with myself, I decided to ring BPAS and make an appointment so I could explore my options further. 

I rang the number on the website and gave my details (crying the entire time) the lady was super friendly and understanding and promptly booked me a consultation appointment which was confirmed via e-mail for the following Thursday. 

When I arrived, there was only one other person in the waiting room, everything was clean and I didn't feel uncomfortable at all, in fact I felt privileged that I lived somewhere that allowed freedom of choice and thought about those who were not so fortunate. 

At the consultation I met with two lovely ladies, the first talked me though all my options and gave me a finger prick blood test to determine if I had a positive or negative blood group. 

I then went to see a nurse who gave me an ultrasound scan and dated me to 6 weeks and 1 day. I asked to see the scan, she printed me some pictures so I could take them home to show my husband as he wanted to be included throughout the process. I didn't find seeing the picture hard as it didn't really look like anything recognisable. The nurse explained that my baby would only be the size of a grain of rice.

She gave me a BPAS booklet and information and booked me in for two appointments on the Thursday and Friday the following week to take the tablets, she told me that if I changed my mind then I could cancel my appointments or even change my mind on the day. I liked feeling so in control and that I had options. 

The next week was a mix of emotions, was I doing the right thing, what would I see, would it hurt, what if I regretted it after... the list goes on. My husband and I were still discussing it in the car park when we arrived for my next appointment... although we both knew what the sensible option was. 

I met with the nurse who had a chat with me to ensure I knew what I was doing and explained after taking the first tablet there was no turning back. I took the tablet with water and went home. 

I had a bad night's sleep, I think this was due to worrying about the treatment the next day after reading horror stories online, but there was no pain, no bleeding... nothing. 

I arrived for my next appointment and was terrified. The nurse was so sweet, she explained the procedure and what to expect, she then put me behind a curtain and gave me gloves and four tablets to insert vaginally. This was a little awkward, but I managed it. 

She then gave me a pack with prescribed painkillers, a painkiller guide (what you were allowed to take and when), antibiotics, condoms, a pregnancy test and a few other information pamphlets with helpline numbers etc...

So... on the way home I took two paracetamol. I got home, put on a pair of my nan's Tena Lady pants and waited... it took three hours for anything to happen. As soon as I felt any sensations I took two co-codamol (the prescribed painkillers) as the pain got stronger I took two Ibuprofen. 

Now let me tell you, the pain is a little worse than period pain, if you have ever had diarrhoea cramps then this is more what it is like, but it is not unbearable by any means, it comes in waves like contractions, but deep breathing through it really helps.

When things passed it felt like passing hot water, there were stringy bits hanging down at times, but only one or two and generally I didn't look, just flushed and got on with it. I was glad of nan's Tena Lady pants as there was a fair amount of blood, although not as much as I anticipated. 

My advice is, take the painkillers as soon as you feel any sensation, don't leave it any longer as they do help, as does a hot water bottle. 

As soon as it all passed the pain stopped.

I went back to the toilet about an hour later and passed a single little lump, I did feel it but it wasn't huge or terribly unpleasant, again I didn't look to see what is was. 

A few mild cramps lingered on for a short while, but I didn't need any painkillers as they were very mild. 

Today is the day after, I'm still bleeding but feel like a different person, so much better. No pain, cramps, etc... I have had the odd cry about what could have been, but know I made the right choice for me and my husband at this moment in time. 

It really wasn't anywhere near as bad as the horror stories I read online, don't believe everything you read and don't let it put you off making the choice you know is right for you - whatever that may be.