A few months on from my missed miscarriage I was pregnant for the 3rd time!
I was 18 when my husband (then boyfriend) and I got pregnant. I had been dating my husband since I was 15 and when I told him the news, he was happy.
On the other hand, I was so scared and didn't know what to do. I thought about the pain I would cause my parents if they were to find out, or what my family would say and think of me.
I spoke to my bf about our options and what the consequences would be. We decided that having an abortion would be the best option since we didn't know how we would be able to support each other and a child. So I ended up having the medicated abortion at seven weeks.
After the abortion, I felt horrible and disgusted by what I had done. I would cry all the time feeling so much guilt. But it didn't hit me as hard until a few years later when I got pregnant for the 2nd time.
By that time my bf at that time was now my husband. We had been married for two years when I got pregnant for the second time. We were both so happy and excited and were waiting for my first ultrasound at 11 weeks to tell everyone the news. But sadly on my ultrasound, the baby had no heartbeat 😢
I was so devastated and couldn't understand why? And kept asking myself why me? Until it hit me, it was a punishment for the abortion I had.
I didn't take it as a punishment from God because I know God does not punish. But its karma or simply how life is. Everything bad you do sooner or later you pay it. So very true and it happened to me.
That moment I realized how truly selfish I was for having that abortion, I realized how precious and how much of a blessing it is to be able to get pregnant! And that having an abortion means you're killing an innocent little person inside you.
Until that moment I truly did feel the pain. Until that moment that I realized all those things and had to go through that missed miscarriage was when I truly learned to appreciate pregnancy. And if I had felt guilt and regret a few years ago when I had the abortion now I felt even worse!
I felt like I was such a heartless person and so stupid and ignorant, and selfish! I knew then I needed forgiveness and guidance. So I began to be close to Jehova (God) like when I was when I was a child.
I started studying the bible and attending the Jehova kingdom hall and every day I prayed to God for forgiveness. I would cry my heart out begging for forgiveness for the abortion I had had.
A few months later from my missed miscarriage I was pregnant for the 3rd time!😊
I remember crying when I saw those two lines on the pregnancy test and I thanked Jehova for blessing me once again. I then felt like God had forgiven me and had blessed me to show me that and that he did listen to my prayers.
I am now eight weeks pregnant and really happy and very thankful. I keep a close relationship with God and pray everyday thanking him for another day and asking to pls care for my little one growing inside me.
I wanted to share my story because I want people to know how abortion can impact your life. Please say No to abortion because its something that you will regret for the rest of your life but most importantly its a LIFE and no one should have the right to take anybody's life. If you simply don't want a child then give it up for adoption, there are many families out there who would love to have a child of their own but for some reason can't.
So please think as there are other options besides abortion.
California sent this story in on 21/06/2015